"Everyone else can manage their money, why can't I?" - the big myth at the root of financial shame

At some point almost all of my clients say something like this. I hear it in almost every enquiry call. “It just seems like everyone else knows what to do and they’re all doing fine and I never have.”

It’s a huge irony that so many people feel alone when they get confused, anxious and stuck trying to decide what to do with their money. “I’m the only one, everyone else can do this just fine” is story that so many people tell themselves, but it is just a story. It’s not true. Even though it’s just a story, the effects are real. Believing you’re the only one who’s not capable of handling money causes huge amounts of unnecessary shame and anxiety, which blocks clear thinking, making you more stuck.

In May 2024, I was interviewed by financial planner, Chris Daems about a whole array of topics to do with making financial choices and how we deal with our feelings about money during big life changes. During this interview, Chris asked me about the phenomenon of people believing that “everyone else is better with money than me” or “everyone else is good with money, why I am so bad?”

Recently, I’ve found myself sharing this section of the interview over and again, so I thought I’d highlight it here, where you lovely people can find it. In the video I give the clear, simple, reasons why this story is just a big old myth. I also offer some other perspectives to replace the myth.

Video interview by Chris Daems with Martha Lawton about recognising that not everyone knows what they are doing with money and strategies for challenging this unhelpful limiting belief.

I hope you find this video useful. If you know someone else who needs to see it, please share it with them. If this discussion resonates with you and you want to work on changing these feelings and getting unstuck about your money, click the button to set up a free, no-strings chat about how financial coaching can help.