The cure for being "bad with money"

In spite everything I’ve said in previous blogs, do you still think “I am bad with money”? Does the thought of ever getting on top of your finances seem impossible? Is there some part of your identity, deep within, that rejects the idea that you could ever be good with money? Does even trying make you feel tense and sweaty? Is your stomach doing an awkward, twitchy, little dance just reading this?

It’s ok.

I’ve got you.

Imagine a life in which the end of the month doesn’t feel too different from the beginning. Imagine planning to treat someone you love and being able to go to town without going into debt. Imagine knowing if one of life’s crises crops up, you have the money to cope. Imagine musing on the future you want once your ready to stop working, confident that you’ll be in a position to enjoy it.

What if you could be ok with money? What if you could be fine with money? What if you could be good enough with money?

The good with money/bad with money false binary that I’ve ranted against leaves no room for a more casually comfortable relationship with money. In reality, this is what a lot of people would prefer. Many people would like to be confident they’re doing alright with their finances, but aren’t primarily driven by money.

Does the idea of being good enough with money sounds great, but also a long way from your current situation? That’s ok. You can get there. The key is to start really, really small.

Imagine the types of actions you would take as a person who is good enough with money. Some suggestions:

• shop around for deals and cancel unwanted subscriptions, so you don’t waste money on shopping;

• learn the meaning of financial jargon and basic economics, so you feel confident in your choices;

• save and invest automatically on pay day, so you don’t rely on willpower to make good intentions happen;

• pay off borrowed money as soon as possible without incurring extra charges, so you pay as little interest as possible;

• negotiate for more pay and lower costs, so you get a great deal;

• keep financial paperwork orderly, so you can get your hands on the information you need when you need it;

• learn what different financial professionals do and how to choose the right one for your needs, so you can tap into the expertise we all need from time to time.

Choose one of these groups of actions. Now choose a single, small, simple action that fits within this group.

Smaller than that. Nope. Still too big. Think smaller. Think tiny.

Some suggestions for tiny actions:

• Search for reviews for one product you are considering buying and bookmark the review to read later, if you can’t read it now;

• Find out where you can see the list of subscriptions in your Apple, Google or other mobile payments account;

• Learn the meaning of one piece of financial jargon - this is a good list - start with words you’ve seen before;

• Find out how to set up a regular automated payment into savings;

• Find out if you can overpay any money you’ve borrowed without being charged extra;

• Make a list of your achievements at work;

• Open one envelope - you don’t have to read what’s inside.

We become confident, not because we’re confident people or by telling ourselves to “be confident”, but by doing what we want to become confident we can do.

There is no such thing as being “bad with money”, but if there were, and if you were, the “cure” would be these tiny actions, one after another, day by day, gradually adding up to better more money in the bank. Do a few tiny actions every week and you’ll be well on your way to being good enough with money.

P.S.

I used to be a financial adviser. It was my job to have a deep understanding of financial products currently on the market and how these could meet people’s needs. I would listen to people’s individual stories and ask questions about those needs, then recommend the products I thought would suit them the best.

As a money coach, I help people understand and improve their psychological relationship with money, so they can be happier that their financial choices are supporting them to build the life they want. There! You’ve completed an action from the last group already! In fact you’ve done it twice. Well done. Go have a cuppa and listen to a song you like.

Do another tiny action tomorrow.

You’ve got this.

We all make money mistakes (even Martin Lewis)

A few years ago I was at a financial education conference where the big finale was a Q&A with Money Saving Expert, Martin Lewis. (It was pretty exciting. Yes, I am that much of a nerd.) He was a great speaker, as expected, but only one thing has from that session really stuck with me. That's the question he didn't answer.

A member of the audience asked if he'd ever made any money mistakes and, if so, what were they? Martin laughed and there was a flash of pain and embarrassment across his face, as if he'd been reminded about a proper blunder. Then he said he had made mistakes, but he didn't want to give details. Now, that's totally within his rights. Maybe his biggest mistakes involved other people's private business, or maybe he just didn't want some silly tabloid article coming out the next day, taking what he said out of context. But it also says something about how we talk about money in this country.

There are the experts who are often portrayed as if their financial decisions are flawless, and then there are the rest of us with our forms we haven't posted yet and our unopened bank statements and that insurance that auto-renewed, even though we know if we shop around we'll get a better deal. I hear so many people say they are 'bad with money'. I also see a lot of people become overwhelmed by the idea of sorting out their finances. I think it's because they compare themselves with the 'perfect' experts, who seem to have it all sorted out.

If you relate to that feeling, I want you to take heart, even Martin Lewis has made money mistakes. (Though he's keeping them to himself.) Instead of trying to reach financial perfection, just aim for a bit better than yesterday. See if you can get good enough with money. Good enough is just that, good enough. Better than yesterday is still better. Take action to improve and then celebrate your progress, instead of getting down because you're not perfect. We're all still learning every day.

When I started my podcast, Squanderlust, being open about my own money fails was an important part of the philosophy of the show. You can hear my former co-host, Alex, and I talking about it in our very first episode.